Oh if only, if only.

[scubatankfilledwithfarts]

It was only then, during an evening of All My Charizards between two watery tv dinners and some luke warm beer did Cassidy voice her disapproval of her partners choice in dates. (Only after the obnoxious sighing, the eyerolling, the twice accidental but three times purposeful failure to notify him of missed calls, the use of his middle name, and the dead Clefary)
"You do realize that this thing with an idiot like you and that Milkunt isn't out to work out without someone ending up in tears, right? Probably you."

Butch could only look forlornly up at the heavens (ah, that stain on the ceiling looked a bit like a Herecross's ba-) and buy himself some time around a mouthful of what was possibly meatloaf or hobos. He had been anticipating, well, dreading her starting this up, when she by fate and inevitably would, but still, during her shows? She must have really had a Caterpie up her ass about this.

"Don't call her that. She's cute and nice and sweet, not to mention has only messed up my name like twice."
Cassidy shot him a patient look over the top of her reading glasses.
"Okay three times," Butch rectified with an unhappy grunt, "but that's not the point. The point is-"

The clatter of a fork hitting the aluminum tray drowned out his retort and by the time he recovered from the sudden noise and following the movement with his eyes, she was upon him, talons raised. "The point is she's a good guy and you're a bad guy. This isn't some Romeo and Juliet shit, I've seen you in frilly long johns. You looked like an even bigger tool than usual," she indicated with a perfectly manicured finger and wagged it. "And the only business she has on a balcony is waiting to be thrown off it."
Butch's mouth tugged at the corners with a snicker he could feel brimming, though he quickly squashed it and waved his hand dismissively. Now was not the time to encourage her, he had some manliness to recover.

"What does that matter? I like her, she likes me, so fucking what? You're the one that takes her work to bed with her, I sure don't think it's a big deal." But suddenly as his mouth flapped like a useless cootch his mind shifted fears and something dawned on him. A cheesy smirk wormed its way across his lips and he wiggled his eyebrows sleezily.
"Oooh...don't tell me...you're jealous? Wow, never thought I'd see the day."

A bark of harsh laughter was his only response before Cassidy struck again, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. "Jealous? Of you? Puhleeze. I don't swing that way, and especially not for a little dumbass like her. Get your head checked out, I think she hit you too hard with her fat ass."

As a man Butch could openly admit how hot that all sounded. Alas, Cassidy violated that Manly Safety Sanctity and didn't have her infamous earrings on so he held his lesbionic review.
"I'm just saying it's either going to end badly or worse; you'll be her little butt slut in a matching cow outfit with teats equipped." With that Cassidy retrieved her fork, shoved a forkful of whateverthatshitwas into her mouth and eyed the tv with a will.

But the peaceful reprieve wasn't going to last, as it never did.
"Really?! You think she would?!" Butch all but chirped, eyes alight with hope, and it only took a brief glance to confirm his flagging ugu boner of delight.

"You disgust me," Cassidy decided. "I'm changing my bet, this won't last but a month. I hope that crybaby hits you in the face with her stinky teats."

It was a lovely evening.